National Video Games Day: The Best Facial Hair in Video Game History
It’s National Video Games Day (not to be confused with National Video GameDay, which is held on July 8th) and we’re all in on the celebration!
Why would a men's grooming brand be celebrating a day about video games?
- We love video games.
- Video games have produced some of the finest facial hair we’ve ever seen.
So, the first part of this celebration is dedicated to our pixelated bearded brothers. We’ve put together a list of the best facial hair ever to grace video games. It’s in no particular order, but there was one stipulation in picking characters: they had to be fictional. That ruled out any sports games based on real-life like FIFA or NBA2K or WWE, and any games based on movies (Gandalf would have been a shoe-in otherwise).
The second part of the celebration is a discount code for you to use to get money off ANYTHING on the Mo Bro’s site. Yeah, that’s how generous National Video Games Day is making us feel. We’ll talk a little bit more about that after we’ve delved into the wonderful world of video game beards.
If Zangief was around in real-life he’d be marketer’s dream. Look at him — he’s a specimen to behold. With muscles on top of muscles and a beard that’s clearly well groomed, he’d be gracing the cover of every muscle and fitness magazine in the land, providing he could keep his temper under control, of course. But he’s not around in real-life, he’s in the best place possible — bear hugging, pile-driving and, er, thrusting people into submission in Street Fighter.
Not the plumber you were expecting? Don’t worry, he’s further down the list. As wretched as he is, Wario has a ‘stache that takes some beating. If you’re using your Mo Bro’s discount code on moustache wax, please can you attempt to turn your ‘stache into a Wario lightning bolt? We’ll love you forever.
The great thing about video game characters is that they don’t have to grow their facial hair, it’s simply handed to them, except Kratos. He's different. He grew his beard out in between God of War games. He knows the struggle of the itchy phase. Maybe. Whatever - that is a fine beard and one befitting of a dude who goes around ending bad guys for a living.
4. Dr Robotnik
What a nightmare this fella is. We know he’s a mad scientist, but what sort of man takes pleasure in making a hedgehog’s life a misery? Alright, Sonic is no ordinary hedgehog and does usually give Dr Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik his comeuppance (if you’re good enough at the game), but, crikey, this guy really needs to put his doctorate to better use. All of those machines he builds can be used for good. Still, cracking ‘stache.
5. Zachary Comstock
Another bearded villain, this time from BioShock Infinite. He’s a real nasty piece of work is Zachary Hale Comstock and he uses his position as leader of The Founders for all kinds of shady activity. However, if we can allow ourselves to look past the wickedness for a moment — that’s a beard Santa would be proud of.
6. Heihachi Mishima
Tekken’s Heihachi Mishima has a wonderful ‘stache that would probably win more plaudits were it not for him persisting with whatever’s going on with his hair. In fairness, if you’re bald on top, you might as well make the most of what you’ve got on the sides.
7. Dr Light
The second doctor on the list. And thankfully a stand-up guy, (save for him inexplicably pushing over the woman in the GIF). Doctor Thomas Light is a peerless roboticist and the creator of Mega Man. Only a roboticist with a beard like Dr Light’s could make something as brilliant Mega Man.
8. Dr Wily
The third and final doctor on the list is Dr Light’s former partner and friend, Dr Albert W. Wily. He helped Dr Light build all kinds of humanoid robots. Unfortunately, Dr Light received all the credit and that tipped Dr Wily over the edge. He then used his skills to program robots for evil. It was probably around this time that he grew out his wonderful hair and ‘stache.
Wouldn’t be a list of facial hair without him, would it? Probably the most famous moustache ever.
10. Cranky Kong
Yeah he complains a lot and he’s always rambling, but he’s a wise ol’ monkey is Cranky Kong. And we’ll tell you this: Donkey Kong wouldn’t be the megastar he is today without him. He pulls off the moustacheless beard very well too.
11. Geralt of Rivia
Geralt of Rivia is a badass, as well a monster hunter should be. The main man in the Witcher Series has somewhat of a subtle beard but it suits him. It really works well with his flowing locks of silver hair and he seems to keep it maintained. If you’re a master swordsman, taking a bit off the beard every now and again probably won’t be an issue.
12. Jeffry McWild
If his name and beard weren’t enough, check out how Virtual Fighter Wiki describes J Mac:
“A fisherman on the Australian coast, he lived in the salty tang of the tides and the hot sun. The most skillful fisherman of his village, he has an engaging personality. He was bested by only one opponent: the giant, eight-meter long, human-eating "Satan Shark". They fought several battles, and finally met in their ultimate match. Jeffry was routed and his boat wrecked, but he somehow managed to recover as he hovered on the verge of death. He entered the World Fighting Tournament with a vow to build a new boat and do battle with the shark again.”
You have to root for him after reading that.
13. Venom Snake
Venom Snake is the main protagonist in Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain but if you played the original Metal Gear Solid you might know him better as Big Boss. He was brainwashed to be a bad guy then, now he’s alright. With an eye patch on one eye and a scar across the other, he’s clearly been in the wars, but the quality of his beard has never wavered.
Zelda’s arch enemy, Ganondorf (a.k.a King of Thieves, Great King of Evil, Emperor of the Dark Realm or Dark Lord) has changed his appearance a few times over the years but it has to be said that a ginger beard does him the most favours. Would a moustache have helped? Possibly. But the chin strap adds to his regal look.
15. John Marston
In the early 1900s, when most men sported a bushy moustache or beard, Red Dead Redemption’s John Marston kept his beard close to the skin. With the scarring on his face that’s probably for the best. Plus, he’s a gunslinger, which means he can wear his beard however he damn well likes.
Who’s your favourite bearded video game character? Is he in this list? Should he be? Let us know in the comments.
And while you’re here, use the code VIDEO15 at checkout to get 15% off your basket. The code works for everything on the site, so fill that basket to the brim!